Choices

Work was about the usual last night, but the drive in was interesting... Attached is the weather map from about 5 minutes before I left with my approximate start and end points showing as the red markers. I'm sure my mother would be happy to note that I took my car. Not that I mind riding the motorcycle in the rain, but for an hour and a half in full rain gear in 75-90 degree weather means that I would be severely dehydrated after sweating my brains out while trying to remain relatively dry. It did make for some very pretty scenery on the way home in the morning, but alas, the battery on my phone died so no pictures. It's fairly interesting to see snow on the mountains when it's still this hot out. Fortunately (?) the storm system is supposed to stay here for a couple more days at least, so I might get another opportunity soon.

Just finished reading The Years of Rice and Salt again and it's made me reexamine a few things in my life. If you haven't read it, then I would recommend it. Basically it reaffirmed that, at it's core precepts, I still remain Buddhist in my outlook. But as with seemingly all religions nowadays, the dogma seems to have overtaken the message in importance and thus I find myself unable to join the congregation. I digress though, back to my examination of my life. I find myself fairly content with my life, but it feels somehow lacking. With all of my gifts, I somehow feel that I should be making a greater contribution somewhere. I suppose I'm just waiting for that one "Dare to be Great" moment to come along so that I can make an important choice, and hopefully make one that makes the world a better place. Not that I haven't had my share of crucial choices in my life, but most of them seem to affect me and my life more than they do anyone else's. I'm fairly certain that in most of those I made the right decisions, or at least I don't regret the majority of the choices I have made. There are still a few that still remain in contention as to whether or not the correct path was chosen, but things seem to be working out so far. I guess my main worry right now is that for most of my life I've been alone, but for the first time I'm starting to feel lonely. How does one change at this point? How can I somehow transform myself into a person that actively seeks out more and more friends, when my life up to this point has marked me as a lone wolf with just a small number of blood trusted companions who have shared the path for a while? Is that what I really want, or do I just want to get back to alone without being lonely?

I know a lot of that sounds fairly depressing, but I'm not really seeing it that way. It's more of a "Here I am, now where do I want to go?" feeling. More hopeful than maudlin. Definitely something to spend some time on.